Mutual respect, love, understanding, courtesy and a mutual
consideration of each other's needs plus mutual tolerance are not
only a must for marital and familial bliss but also very
meritorious. The exalted and eternally blessed Messenger of Allah
has said that, "The most perfect faith have those Muslims who have
better morals, and the best of these are those who are best for
their women." (Tirmidhi)
A hadith has already been quoted which says that the food which one
puts in his wife's mouth earns him merit. Another hadith goes a bit
further and predicts merit even on the sexual act of a husband and
Some of the companions once asked the Holy Messenger of Allah, "We
satisfy our carnal needs; does it too earn merit?" Our Holy Prophet
replied, "Tell me, would it not be a sin if someone did it in the
unlawful way? Then the one who is doing it in the lawful way would
certainly get its reward." (Muslim).
Another hadith tells us that when a husband, upon returning home,
looks at his wife with love and the wife returns his glance with
love, Allah looks upon both of them with Mercy.
Husband and wife are always together and pass a large portion of
their lives in each other's company. It is but natural for frictions
to arise. If these normal misunderstandings and displeasures are
allowed to degenerate into bitter quarrels and cruelty to each
other, then not only are worldly pleasures destroyed but the Divine
reward for mutual love is also lost.
Hence Allah and his blessed Messenger have formulated for us a
perfect guideline for marital bliss; it can be summarized as
follows: "Do not look at only those things which displease you;
think too that the partner, who is displeasing you, has some good
qualities as well. If you think of these good qualities, the good
relationship with your spouse shall be restored". Allah has
said, "In a hadith the Messenger of Allah, may he be eternally
blessed, has directed as follows, "No believer should have total
dislike of a believing woman (because) if he dislikes one thing,
there would be some quality (in her) which he would surely like."
If husband and wife follow this principle and live with mutual love
and try their best to be good to each other, their marital life
shall be enriched with happiness and they shall go on earning more
and more merit and Divine rewards all their lives.